Back on Track

It's been a while since I've had the cooking bug.  I've always loved to bake and cook but with all the changes and having no real home for the last year and a half, I fell out of the cooking thing.  Sometimes it is hard to think of things to make when you don't feel like eating anything or everything you want is not healthy for you.

The kids have been eating so well for the last year it is amazing to see how much they have expanded their food variety and how much better they eat compared to normal adults.  They probably eat more greens and fruit than a normal adult.  Their eating habits were a short list of menu items a few years ago and now they eat so many new things and snacks have gone from majority of their diet to MAYBE one small snack a day.  It is really nice to see them eating healthy and liking it.  They are aware of what they eat and like to learn about calories and sugars and the ingredients in their food.

A few veggie bloggers I follow have always inspired me to make healthy snacks for them and myself and since the cooking bug is back, I have been making things on my days off that I didn't get to make in a long time or had planned to but never felt like getting to it.  The peanut butter banana chip muffins are a hit at home and I am so happy to add another new healthy snack to our menu.

Granola oat bars 

It's been an up and down battle with falling off the clean eating wagon and wallowing in my bad food funk all year.  Funny how when we feel yucky about ourselves, it starts a snowball effect on everything else.  When I eat healthy and exercise 5 days a week, I feel so much happier with myself and don't feel as down on my self image.  Since my feet and back have progressively gotten worse, I have slowly fallen back into the snacking and eating bad and not being able to workout has made it a complete disaster.  I feel depressed about my body, gained 6 pounds, wanting to pull out my hair, biting my nails, and just overall want to cry all the time.  It is an ugly cycle that has plagued me since I was a little girl and as much as I am aware of what is happening, I can't seem to make it stop.  I am slowly trying to get back into the swing of eating well, not letting myself have a bad snack, and trying to work 1-2 days of exercise back into the week..well, as much as I can handle with my ailing back and fascia's killing me.  Some people have hair and nails or shopping to soothe them, my only out has been running or some kind of workout and without this for the last few months, I've been in a dark place and I really need to figure this out because it isn't good for anyone around me to continue this ugly outlook.

Sometimes I feel like it is worse to be aware of the issues we have in ourselves, because if we are aware of them, we should be able to stop them and do things differently.  I'll catch myself saying I wish I could just be ignorant to them and not know why I felt a certain way because then it's not like I know what I need to do..I don't know...which may be better than knowing and not fixing it!  OHHHH the joys of being a girl/mom/human who has major self image and confidence issues.  GRRRRRRRRRRRRR


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