Self Care Journey for 2021 - Hair Rituals with Crown Affair
I've never been girly. I consider myself to have been a tomboy most of my life. My mom thought I was a lesbian when I was in high school because I only hung out with boys and dressed mostly boyish with baggy pants and skate shoes..dyed red hair and piercings LOL
I think I have some sort or complex or OCD about my skin because I've never liked putting things on my face or skin. At 41, I am only now just starting to put some kind of eye cream on my eyes after I shower a few times a week. Because I have this strange issue with how things feel on my skin, I have never been able to wear moisturizer or lotions or even chapstick on my lips when it is chapped and ripping. As soon as I put something on, I feel this wierd weight on my skin and just have to rub it off. Probably why I never wore makeup. I dabbled in eye shadow and some brow or mascara stuff in my late teens/early 20s but that was it..and it just didn't work so well and I didn't like even just shadow on my eyes it felt awful. I never learned to use product or makeup and still do not know how.
Fast forward to now..I am learning that as much as I do not like putting things on my skin, I have to start somewhere if I don't want to age so quickly LOL. There are only a few things I have begun using every so often..I found a light eye cream from Beautycounter that I used a few times a week because it seems to disappear into my skin and feel weightless. I do not know if it helps but I figure I need to start somewhere. My mom used to tell me as a kid to take care of my skin or they spots will slowly appear as we age..and she was right LOL I'll post about those items in another post but this one was supposed to be about my need to stop pulling my hair out!
So, at the end of last year, I stumbled upon Olive&June and ever since then, I have successfully stopped biting my nails. And I was really really really biting the worst I have ever done in my life the last few years. I have been like this my whole life..anxiety, stress, self doubt, self consciousness you name it all of it in one package causes me to do this. I have stopped for a month or two every so often but I always went back as soon as things got stressful or I couldn't handle things and it was my way to cope. When I started O&J, my nails were literally gone and in 7 months, I have been able to not bite my nails even though times have remained this stressful and hard for me to handles some days, that shows that I have kicked this habit for I'm hoping for the long haul because I haven't bitten it even when things have gotten somewhat worse! I figured, ok if this works, and I can NOT bite my nails even when things are tough and filled with anxiety, then I should try to find something that will help with my hair pulling. As years build up with situations worsening, my hair pulling gets worse and worse. The last time it was like this, I had to shave my head bald to stop.I really don't want to do that so I have been wearing beanies and hats to prevent myself from pulling them when I'm coping but even then I find piles of hair in my lap.
I actually came across Crown Affair randomly and love their packaging.. that is what drew me to that company. As I started reading the hair rituals, it really clicked in me that this might be my hair version of O&J! If I can get in to a habit or caring for my hair, taking care of it, and feeling good about it, I might stop. So I decided to use some of my saved up money to get a brush, comb, and oil and see how it will help me on this journey. The funny thing is, I've had it for 3 days now and I have started to try the process and ritual of brushing before shower, combing after, using the oil and just treating it like it's delicate and in 3 days, I have not pulled a hair out...that is 3 days longer than it's been for the last few years.. I will keep posting but I really really think this might be something amazing.
Not sure if anyone can relate to what I am talking about..I have never treated myself in a girly way.. like it was special or that I liked my skin or hair HAHA. I've never done thing that was just for me or splurged on things that in my mind were silly or pointless time wasters. The feeling of guilt for these "luxuries" doesn't help either.. O&J was the first where I was taking "me" time and it is actually kind of nice. Going to the hair or nail salon was not my thing and I always felt like I was wasting time I didn't have just to go there and get a hair cut so I didn't ever go..but doing just this hair ritual feels kind of nice and special and I think that is the secret to self care isn't it? Taking care of you to make you feel good? I never understood that but I think I'm slowly seeing it..now to get over the guilt of doing things for me..that's the other battle. I hope to post again in 6 months about this with a success story XOXO